2018-04-11 / Loose Ends

Scarf ace

Blowing off esteem
Susan Nienow

Self-esteem is a slippery thing. I’m pretty sure mine is healthy until I get a slate of letters in Scrabble that doesn’t make any sense. For those of you who aren’t in love with words, it’s like getting a paint set with only shades of purple or a number puzzle with only even numbers.

The one I am working on now has a J and a Z, three Os, a U and a D. Words with J are not my strong point, and there aren’t that many words with Z. How much time do I spend on this before giving up and asking for three new letters?

Scarves seriously test my self-esteem. I collect them, and they should be considerably more useful than my rabbit collection. I have winter scarves and wispy summer ones. I buy them because I like them and then worry about what outfit they would enhance. What I can’t do is figure out how to wear them.

I can loop a scarf around my neck and let the ends hang, or loop the ends around again and tuck them in, and short of tying it in a bow, that’s it – my entire scarf repertoire. I have several cards that came with instructions on several different ways to wear scarves. I can do the two and struggle with the others.

I do keep buying scarves, though. I love the colors and no one has ever pointed out the fact that I always wear them the same way, no matter how long or how wide they are. My mother gave me a winter scarf she made. I am sure she didn’t know what to do with it. It is a pretty ivory color and about nine feet long.

When I asked her why it is so long, she laughed and said, “I don’t know. I just kept knitting.” Any nine-foot scarf tying suggestions would be appreciated. I also have a small collection of scarf pins and loops and odd things that are supposed to contain scarves – you know, keep them from dragging on the ground and getting caught in the car door.

Just the fact that I can’t control my scarves puts me in a tenuous position with my self-esteem. I am close to having nightmares about dragging my scarf through a puddle or the sauce on my spaghetti noodles.

Another self-esteem buster is having to do anything artistic. I can’t draw, paint or sculpt. Don’t ask me to create a poster for something unless I can do it on the computer. Then, I will produce exactly what the sample looks like and get a headache, too.

I survived the years my kids were in elementary school by offering to help out in their classrooms instead of being Room Mother in charge of coming up with decorations for every holiday. That way I was asked to cut out letters or hunt for pictures in magazines. Just my speed and a real esteem-builder.

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